Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
