So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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