she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
