Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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