i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
