"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
