only if we run a train.
done.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
