We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
