I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
