You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
