i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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