We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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