you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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