I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
