part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
