Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
