So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
