Sober January is a disaster.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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