I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize