Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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