I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
