This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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