Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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