did you get engaged???
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I won't apologize to a one balled man
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
