Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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