Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My breasts were aching with rage.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
