dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
