There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
