he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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