Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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