So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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