Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
