I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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