i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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