Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
