My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
