We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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