Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
