it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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