I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i think my tv is drunk
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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