so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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