false alarm. still invincible.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
