operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just pee around me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
