I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
