And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
