I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
