I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
