What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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