When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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