spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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