Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
