she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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