im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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