yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
