i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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