Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
