READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
