You really coming over, don't trick.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
