We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
