i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
