She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
