Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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