i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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