quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
