what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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