I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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