I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Can I color on your dick again?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
