I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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