Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
